I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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