from now on my penis is your penis
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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