ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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