Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
