dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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