brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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