Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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