She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
