He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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