Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
