Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This baby is an asshole
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
