Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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