I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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