Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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