Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
