I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
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