Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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