don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
