rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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