I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Randomize
