Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
