Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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