i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
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The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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