did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize