This girl is more easily done than said...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
