is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
