I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize