I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
