goodnight i made you a song goodbye
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
