Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The adults are the big ones right?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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