I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
