I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
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I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
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But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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