Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
