Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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