I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
