I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
