I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
