Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
