the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
