wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
