My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
