i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
