Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
