I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
