By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
