I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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