M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
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i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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