remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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