my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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