yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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