Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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