The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
