I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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