don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i just google imaged poop.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
