You made me cry and you don't even care
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
