okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
