I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
