Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
