he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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