Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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