i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
