He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
