RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
