There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
