At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
