Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
