Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
