i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize